How to Network Like Casanova

Everybody wants to be a great networker, but only a few people know how to play the game the right way. Because of that, I decided to explain networking in a completely different way.

I used the word, “Casanova” because he was a charmer and there’s a part of networking and charming that both go together.

So whether you know this or not, you network in one of the following six different ways:


#1: The Flirt

The flirt is a guy that’s very good at flirting with girls. He’s great at charming and seducing with words. He knows how to get what he wants by being a flirt.

#2: The Detective

The second type of player is the detective. Let’s say he likes a girl named Michelle.  He finds out what’s her favorite calor, her favorite song, favorite flower, favorite food, favorite drink, favorite everything. He finds out every single thing about Michelle because he’s a researcher. He researches so much about Michelle so by the time he’s asking her out, he already has a lot of info. These types of networkers are amazing at what they do.

#3: The Promoter

The third one is the promoter. This guy also likes Michelle. (Michelle must be one popular girl.) He goes and befriends five of Michelle’s best friends. He treats them well, takes care of them and helps them. Then he goes and becomes good friends with Michelle’s dad or mom and he volunteers and he helps out. Next thing you know, Michelle has seven different people who have the most influence on her telling her how amazing Billy is. And she realizes maybe she should give this Billy kid a shot. And boom, they go out.

#4: The Success

The fourth type is the success. This is the guy that says, “I’m not the best-looking guy in school, but here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to become so successful that Michelle has to date me, and she will give more attention to me because I’m going to become so successful.” This type of networker becomes so successful everyone talks about their success. Then boom, people do business with them.

#5: The Man

The fifth style is the man. This is the person that has the reputation. Everybody talks about his reputation. Oh, you know how he is, he’s amazing with the girls. He’s amazing. He’s got a reputation. In business, “Oh, if you work with this guy, he’s amazing.” Reputation is what it’s all about with the man.

#6: The Comedian

And the last one is the comedian. You’ve probably met a guy that charm girls with his humor; he’s just funny. People like him because he makes them laugh.

These guys are great networkers. A girl will eventually say, “I don’t know why, but I think I’m falling in love with the guy. This is so weird. We were just friends and every time I’m around him he just makes me feel great because he makes me laugh.” That’s a networker. He’s incredible at networking and all of a sudden, she is now dating Billy, because Billy is great at making her laugh.

18 tips on how to be a solid networker 

Whether you know it or not, you generally charm or prospect people in at least one, but most likely two of these six ways.

So there are certain ways, certain things you can do to become a networker. I’m going to give you 18 tips on how to be a solid networker. These are some I’ve used in my entire career.  Every one of these ways has worked for me.

#1: Who They Want as A Customer 

The first mistake everybody makes is that most people have no idea who they want as a customer. Here are the things you need to know about your customer:

  • Age
  • Married or Single
  • Income Level
  • Where do they live?
  • What is the demographic?
  • Education

Then once you know who it is, the next question you’ve got to ask is who is connected with this customer.  For example, let’s just say your customer is a 70-year-old. Who knows, or does business with 70 year olds? You may go and ask certain CPAs. You may go and ask certain attorneys. You may go and ask certain people that are working with retirement planning or estate planning or insurance or health insurance or doctors. Maybe you’ll talk to doctors that deal with heart problems or other age-related issues.

Then you know how to get to your customer, because you first need to know who you know, then you need to know who knows your customer and get connected to them.

Another example is that if your customer is somebody that makes six figures. Who do you need to know? You need to find out who knows people who make six figures and get connected to them. This is not a hard thing to do, by the way. Once you figure out this formula, then you work backwards.

#2: Research Who You’re Trying to Reach

The second thing about networking is research who you’re trying to reach. Remember how we talked about the detective?

Maybe you want to get connected with somebody who is going to get you into a massive market and you want to figure out a way to do business with that person. Research that person.

For example:

  • What’s their favorite book
  • Favorite cigar (or do they not like cigars?)
  • Favorite drink
  • Favorite food
  • Favorite bottle of wine (Do they like wine?)
  • Who’s their favorite sports team?
  • What city did they grow up in? Do they like that city?
  • What ethnicity are they? Are they from America? Were they born in America?
  • Were they in the military before? Did they like the military? How was their experience in the military?
  • Do they have a hero? Who do they look up to?

Whatever it is, connect with them through that.

Listen in here for an example of a guy that connected with me this way on LinkedIn.

#3: Give Yourself to the Top

I love gifting myself to the top. I give this challenge to anybody that’s in real estate and sales and insurance and financial services.

Let’s say you have 50 existing clients and 50 other people you’d like to have as clients. Buy 100 bottles of wine (they don’t have to be expensive. For 100 bottles you may spend between $600 and $800.)

Take the next 60 days and give away one or two bottles of wine a day to one of your customers or to one of the people that you want to do business with, or someone you know who can connect you to others you want to do business with. Express appreciation to them for what they’ve done for you and give them the bottle of wine. In return, they will likely ask what they can do for you. Let them know the type of person you’d like to be introduced to.

I used to give away books all the time. And almost always, if I spent $1,000 on books, I always 10xd the money. If I spent $600 on wine, I almost always made, minimum, $6,000 to $40,000 for giving away 100 bottles of wine. It always worked for me. I’ve never seen it not work. Obviously, you need to do your follow up and you need to do it in a very proper way, but it always works. Give yourself to the top.

#4: Take Care of Your Image. Be Presentable

This one is very simple. Always be presentable.

#5: Be Shameless

The flirt is a little bit shameless. He’s willing to approach the girl and say and do certain things that maybe you’re not willing to do. And you’re like, “Oh, no, no, there is no way she’s going to like that.” The flirt can actually get away with that, because he’s a little bit shameless. And you’re ashamed a little bit. What if she doesn’t like this? This style (the flirt) requires you to be a little bit shameless. A little bit fearless. Always remember this – the guy who dated the hottest girl in school generally was the guy who was shameless. He had the guts to go ask her out.

#6: Be Visible

Let me explain to you what I mean by being visible. Be in their face regularly. Be relevant whether it’s social media or going to events. If there’s certain national conventions that have to do with your industry, go to every single one of them. When people see you over and over again, they’ll remember you and want to introduce you to others, so it pays to be very, very visible.

#7: Have Credible Names Building You Up

If you’re always helping out, you’re eventually going to have certain credible names that know about you. The other day I read a book I really liked. The book was written by a guy named Jules. So I sent an email to Jules after I read the book and I said, “Hey, I really like your book, Jules.” He took that email and he posted it on social media platforms. It said, “Patrick Bet-David said he liked my book.”

Then he responded back and said, “Do you mind giving me an endorsement?” Do you mind saying something about this book and taking a picture of you with the book?” I thought, you know what, good for you. Because he wants people to see credible people saying good things about him.

Just so you know,  it’s not that hard to get quotes from people. Just make sure you’re giving something in return. You don’t just come and say, “Gimme, gimme, gimme.” It doesn’t work that way. You’ve got to first say, “How can I help?” Then in return, can I get this? So have some credible names that are saying good things about you.

#8: Have the Reputation of Being an Expert

You have status. You have a reputation of being good at what you do. When you have a reputation of being an expert, it’s very easy to network with people because people already know who you are. So have a reputation of being a success story.

#9: Be Extremely Helpful 

There’s something about a guy that’s too pushy too early with a girl. That’s just very ugly, right? It’s just annoying. And by the way, when I talk about the flirt, I’m not talking about an annoying flirt.  I’m talking about being extremely helpful, always coming from a place of asking, “How can I help?”

Let’s just say you’ve got 30 people you’d like to network with. And you get their numbers. And you make a list of them today, and you spend the next two hours calling these 30 people. And you ask one question. “Hey John, one of the things I want to do this month, I committed to this year, I want to be able to help as many people as possible with their business and I just wanted to call you. I’m an entrepreneur myself and I know that as an entrepreneur you need a lot of help because you need other people that may know the right people, the right connections. Maybe there are certain things I can help you with. What is one of the things you’re struggling with the most in business and how can I help you?”

Out of 30 calls, half of them are going to say, “I’m totally fine, don’t worry about it.” The other 15 are going to have something they need help with.

Once you help them, you know what they’re going to say? What is their line? “How can I help you?”

#10: Don’t Invite Them Back to Your Place Too Early 

Don’t invite them back to your place too early. Networking isn’t a one-night stand. It’s about relationships.  So don’t ask for favors too early.

#11: Always Have a Positive Attitude

There’s nothing like having a positive attitude. People can feel a positive attitude even  in an email.

#12: Develop the Skill of Small Talk

Whether it’s on email, on Facebook, on social media,  or face-to-face, small talk is important. Talk about current events, sports, the weather, where people are from.

#13: Develop Listening Skills

I know when someone is not interested. At all.  And they’re just talking with me because they’re supposed to be doing it. But I also know when someone is interested. They look in my eye rather than looking at their watch or off in the distance. They give me their entire attention. When it comes to building relationships, it’s important to develop good listening skills.

#14: Send a Hand Written Note or Email Right Away

I’m big on written notes. I love sending cards to people. Why? Because no one’s doing it any more.

#15: Be a Connector. Have a Diverse Group of Connections

What do I mean by this? The best auto insurance guy, the best health insurance person, the best pediatrician, the best doctor, the best personal trainer, the best, chiropractor, the best whatever it is, be a connector. So when you’re asking people how can I help, you have the connectors. You have the things to connect them with. Be a very, very good connector. Keep connecting people together. And eventually you become the best connector and everybody says, “you’ve got to go talk to John. You’ve got to go talk to Pat,” right?

#16: Have a Solid Online Brand

Have a solid brand online with social media. I don’t believe in business cards. There’s a lot of people that say, Oh, you’ve got to have a business card. I literally, don’t have business cards. I collect business cards, but I don’t have business cards. Instead, I use LinkedIn. I get the person’s name and phone number and right then, put it in my phone and then connect with them on LinkedIn. That’s the business card of today.

Now do clean up your social media profiles and make sure they fit with your brand. For example, unless you’re a dancer, you don’t want pictures of you twerking on your social media profiles.

#17: Be Authentic. Be Yourself

If you’re the detective. Be a detective, man. If you’re a charmer, be a charmer. Be the flirt. If you’re the comedian, be the comedian. If you try to be one you’re not, it comes across very awkward.

Have you seen people on YouTube that are trying too hard? You sense they aren’t being themselves. When Johnny Carson first got started, he didn’t do very well because he wasn’t being himself. Then someone told him to just be himself, and that’s when people fell in love with him.

#18: Learn How to Brag About Yourself without Bragging About Yourself

How do you do that? There’s an art to it. Learn how to talk about some of your success without sounding too cocky and arrogant about it. Because people do want to know that you have been successful, but you’ve got to do it in a very gentle way. Be subtle about it, and then turn the conversation back around to them.

For example, girls want to know that guy’s have had some kind of success. Guys want to know that girls have done some stuff. Yeah, in school I was valedictorian or in school I played sports, I was a quarterback. Yeah, the stereotype, I was that guy playing the quarterback and I was pretty good. I was All American and had a good time, it was great. . . Yeah, know right now with business I do have three offices, business is going good, I’m very excited about one of our offices we’re doing this with. I’ve never seen a business. . . but tell me about yourself. Tell me how things are with you. Very subtle. Not, “Let me tell you who I am.”

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