Don’t Be An A$#hole


There is nothing more annoying to a mentor than somebody who is a total and I mean a TOTAL askhole. What? From the title did you think I meant something else? No, no, askhole. It’s an actual word, and do you know what it means?

An askhole is somebody who constantly asks your advice, yet does the complete opposite of what you tell them.

[bctt tweet=”An askhole is somebody who. . .  ” username=”patrickbetdavid”]

This is very important to me because I’m a byproduct of many different mentors. Mentors are very important to me. I don’t want to lose good mentors. I don’t want to lose great advisers. I don’t want to lose people that pour into me regularly.

But not everyone thinks this way.

I used to mentor on guy quite a bit. One day, he and I had a conversation. Here’s how it went:

Hey Pat, I want to be more accountable to you.

 What for?

What do you mean? I want to be more accountable to you.

What is your outcome of being accountable?

So we can communicate more.

For what? What’s your outcome on the business side, not personal side. You can call me anything you want with my family, with your family, friends, all this other stuff because we have a relationship, but I don’t understand why in business you want to be accountable to me.

Well, so you can give me direction.

Why would I give you any direction?

Why wouldn’t you give me direction?

Why would I ever give you direction?

And we went back and forth.

I said, “Listen, you don’t understand. You’re a total askhole.”

And he said, “Pat, how could you say that to me?”

I told him to take a quick pause and go online and search that word.

He went online and there was silence.

And I said, “Are you reading it?”

He said, “I just read it.”

I said, “Look, let me remind you of the last seven conversations we’ve had, where I’ve given you direction. Do you realize that you’ve done the complete opposite of everything I told you the last seven times? The last seven times, you’ve done the opposite. I have three kids all under the age of five. I run a company with a lot of employees, a lot of agents, partners, vendors, I have commitments to people that I’m doing things for. I don’t have time to mentor people who are askholes.”

I told him to call me if he had family and other personal things he wanted to talk to me about because I cared about him, but I knew I couldn’t help him on the business end because he was an askhole.

Finding a Mentor is a Great Thing

It’s important to realize that it’s very difficult to find a great mentor. When you find a mentor who actually knows what they’re doing, it’s a great thing. They have put tens of thousands of hours into their business and becoming a master. So when you do find one, be extremely coach-able, especially if they are someone you admire in their all-around life.

If such a person is willing to take the time to pour into you, and teach you, just make sure that when they do, that you implement what they teach you.

Where There Is and Is Not An Unending Supply

There’s never, never, never, ever, ever, a lack of supply of people who want to learn from a mentor. But there absolutely is a lack of great mentors. That is why those who end up finding a great mentor have an edge over everybody else. A great mentor will save you tens of thousands of hours of mistakes that you would make without their input.

So my message to you is very simple. If you have a great mentor who:

  • Has the lifestyle that you want
  • Is making the money you want to make
  • Has a great personal life, a great family life
  • Is growing and getting better
  • Is always in it, always working, not just sitting on the sidelines in retirement mode

and they’re willing to pour into you, be extremely coachable. Don’t be an askhole, or they’ll move on to mentor someone else who is coach-able.

Will You Be Coachable?

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