You may be wondering why I’m doing a video on how to get married since I’m not a marriage counselor and typically cover entrepreneurship. The reason I decided to cover the topic of marriage is that a lot of people have requested an episode on this topic AND whether you marry and who you marry has a huge impact on entrepreneurs. As an entrepreneur, if you plan to build an empire for yourself, how and who you marry will be very critical in your success.
In this video I’ll share eight things I’ve learned about how to marry and who to marry.
How to Marry and Who to Marry
Many months back I did a video called, The One Thing to Teach Your Kids. In the video, I said the #1 thing anyone can teach their kids is how to process issues. The point of today’s video and post is to help you process the topic of marriage.
Before I get into the main points, I want to preface everything by saying that I’ve seen people get married the right way. For instance, a Christian marrying a Christian or a Muslim marrying a Muslim. And in spite of them doing things the right way, things didn’t work out. I’ve also seen people do things completely wrong, and in spite of that, things worked out and they’ve been married 10, 20, 30 years. So either way, there are no guarantees, but life is all about the odds. You have less of a chance of crashing if you’re going 50 miles per hour in a 50 MPH zone, than if you go 100 MPH. It’s purely odds.
My hope is that by sharing with you some of the things I’ve learned over the years that you’ll increase the odds of your marriage working out, or perhaps you’ll come to the conclusion that you’re not ready for marriage and will, at least for the time being, stay single.
First you have to ask yourself why you want to get married. Do you want to get married because:
- Everyone else is getting married?
- You feel pressured by other people to get married?
- Because you want to have kids?
- Because of your commitment to your faith?
- You want a life-long partner?
The first two reasons are bad reasons, but the last three could be very good reasons. Just make sure your reasons for getting married are good.
Is there a perfect time to get married? Should you get married before you’re 30? Should you wait until you have the money? Listen in here for my thoughts regarding the perfect time to get married.
Marriage provides an opportunity for a vested, deep-rooted relationship, someone to talk with, and a friend for the rest of your life. When you’re married, you have someone to go to for a second opinion on issues in business and life, and that person is someone that knows you better than anyone else. Marriage also has the dynamics of two different human beings that are merged into one, which brings about great balance. Married couples also have increased earning power, and someone to help them out when needed.
When you’re single, the only person you’re responsible for is yourself. You are free to do what you want without your conscience bothering you.
Listen in here for some good — and some really bad — reasons why people get married. Can you relate to any of them?
Listen in here for my thoughts on why who you marry matters so much. I also talked about a debate I had with one of my family members on what really matters when choosing a spouse and share some words of wisdom from my dad.
In addition to considering the points listed above, I recommend that you make a list of people who you admire that have the life you want. For me, that meant people who had been married 10, 20, 30 years, had a healthy marriage, and were a successful entrepreneur. You want to get advice from people who have achieved success in the same way you want. So as an entrepreneur, you don’t want to get advice from someone who has a regular 9-5 job.
Once you’ve created your criteria and identified people who fit, go to them and ask for counsel. I took my wife (who was my girlfriend at the time) and sat her down with different people. I wanted them to meet her and tell me what they thought of her afterwards. I left them alone and they just talked. She did the same as well.
You can also get advice from people who have failed in marriage, because sometimes the best lessons are learned through failure.
Before getting married you need to consider whether or not you’re really ready to settle down and commit to one person.
If you’re an entrepreneur, it’s even more important for you to get married the proper way. Entrepreneurship has lot of highs, and a lot of great things happen, but there are also a lot of hardships. There are certain bad things that happen to you that you can’t help, but you do have a lot of control when it comes to self-inflicted wounds. Most self-inflicted wounds happen because you’re not fully prepared and have lacked intentionality. When it comes to marriage, you can’t afford to go into it unprepared. Be overly prepared, and ask as many questions as possible.
To help you with that, I’ve prepared 50 questions to ask before you get married. Discuss the questions with the person you’re dating to help you both make a wise decision about whether or not to get married. And if you’re already married, discuss the questions with your spouse. Fill out the form below and I’ll email the questions to you.
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