If there’s one thing I can guarantee you, it’s this. If you’re way too sensitive, and you decide to go into the world of business, you won’t stay long. Why? Because the world of business can get very, very ugly at times. You need to mentally prepare for the beat down you’ll get if you become an entrepreneur. So today I get into the eight bad experiences that will help you as an entrepreneur.
The first of the eight bad experiences that will help you as an entrepreneur is a humiliating experience. What type of embarrassing or humiliating experience? I don't know, but it has to be very embarrassing, very humiliating. Maybe when you were in school, you tried out for the football or basketball team and everyone laughed at you. You remember that moment of laughter forever. Or you tried to talk to a certain girl or do some other things and were so embarrassed that the humiliation stayed with your spirit.
These humiliating experiences are actually good because in business you will have many, many humiliating experiences.
#2: Being Bullied
The second of the eight bad experiences that will help you as an entrepreneur is being bullied. It's very important to experience bullying.
I did a video once on how to handle bullies. I cannot stand bullies. Every night when I come home, I ask my kids two questions:
• Do we bully people?
• Do we get bullied?
The answer to both is no. We don't bully people, and we don't allow people to bully us. But being bullied is the best thing that happens to you. Why?
Here's an example. My younger son gets bullied by the older son. The younger son gets pushed, hit, and all this other stuff. When he's 14 years old and gets into a fight with a kid, do you know how he's going to handle it? He'll be like, "Dude, I've been fighting my older brother for years. You're nobody to me. Do you want to fight? Let's go fight."
Next, rejection. Being rejected is a very good thing. You know why? I've been mentoring sales people for 15 years. Do you know what their number one fear is? The phone. When they see a phone, they scream like a little girl. Why? Because they can't handle the little, two-lettered word, "no." They don't want to experience rejection. They don't want to hear people say they're not interested.
But being rejected is very good in business. Why? Because when you experience rejection a lot, you get used to it, and eventually you become desensitized to it. Then when someone says no, it's almost as if you didn't hear them say no. For example, here's how a conversation could go between a guy and a girl when the guy has become desensitized to hearing the word, "no."
Hey, pretty girl. I want to take you out.
Okay. Friday or Saturday night?
I said, no.
I'll pick you up. What's your address?
I just told you no!
I'll call you.
I said no!
Just make sure to wear a nice dress.
All right, all right. I'll be ready for you to pick me up, and I'll wear a nice dress.
What happened? I didn't hear the word, "no." The same is true with business. You have to become deaf to the word, no, and the more rejected you are, the better you off you are.
#4: A Great Breakup
Next, a great break up. Man, one of the best things to go through is a great breakup, when someone says they don't love you anymore.
At this point you may ask, "Patrick, have you completely lost it?" No. When I talk to people who built very big businesses, I learn that they went through hell and back before they built a big business.
#5: Piercing Words
Next, piercing words. The great thing about piercing words? They go right through you. They sting.
Once on a conference call, one guy wasn't doing well. He lost everything, including the house he bought for his mom. Tears flowed. Another guy on the call said, "You will never make it in business." This happened nine years ago, and he still remembers those words to this day. You forgive, but don't forget. You remember the words. Those piercing words changed him, and today he's successful.
Words have a lot of power. A coach or friend may say piercing words to you. They may test you to see how you respond. The key is your response. You can respond, "I can't believe he said that to me! I'm such a loser." Or you can say, "Let me prove him wrong" and then go do it. It's completely on you.
#6: An Ass Whooping
Listen in here to learn why a good ass whooping is one of the bad experiences that will help you as an entrepreneur.
#7: Going Broke
Next, going broke. Going broke, whether it's because you lived in a family that didn't have a lot of money, or you went broke is a very good thing that can happen to you. I experienced both. I grew up on welfare. We experienced a lot of tough times. And then I experienced losing everything. In both cases, I was in a pretty bad state.
And when in a bad state, you feel completely alone, all by yourself. A part of you thinks you're done, and that nothing can change. At that point you want to throw in the towel.
The way you respond in the heat of the moment creates a habit that lasts a lifetime. You can create a losing habit. Or you can say, "This hurts. I'm a bit depressed. I have a lot of fears. But I'm going to fight again." And you get up and fight. You come back from it, fight, and win. Then the spirit inside you believes you can overcome any obstacle. You become a dangerous person to compete with, and people won't want to screw with you. Why? Because you have a certain spirit backing you up, and it's very hard to go against someone like that.
Next, betrayal. Betrayal happened to me in business a couple of times. Once with a very good friend. I was shocked a friend could do something like that to me after giving me his word.
It's very good to experience betrayal, because it teaches you things. You learn to judge people in a completely different way. You keep your guard up and stay a little bit paranoid about everybody until you trust them.
I once asked Mark Cuban how he manages all of the CEOs of the companies he owns. He said, "I micromanage until I trust."
After betrayal, your speed of trust delays. When naïve, I trusted faster. Now it takes 18 months or more to earn my trust. It used to take three months. That's a good thing.
People come to me and say, "Pat, I'm going to be the greatest salesman you've ever had." Oh really? Now I give them two years to prove it, and show me they're mentally and emotionally tough. That's when I know they're legit.
You're Tougher Than You Think
Once when in Panama, I saw a four-year-old pushing a two-year-old in a shopping cart. It was pouring down rain. I was like, what the hell? Where are the parents?
But we're tougher than we think we are. There's a thing called survival of the fittest. We have certain survival mechanisms ingrained in our bodies.
Sometimes I see parents protecting a 30-year-old son, as if they're four years old. C'mon, man. Let the guy get his nose a little bloody.
We live in a politically correct world, where it's all about sensitivity. But honestly, it's okay to have a few scars. They make you stronger. I don't want a body with no scars. And if you truly want to be an entrepreneur, you need to get used to being hit.
So don't look at these eight experiences as bad. See them as positives. Because these are eight bad experiences that will help you as an entrepreneur.
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